Valentine's Day 2008
by sg-1fanintn
Summary: It's Valentine's Day, and a galaxy separates Sam and Jack. Despite the physical distance between them, their thoughts are on each other.
1. Chapter 1 Sam

**Valentine's Day, 2008**

_While sitting in traffic this morning, this idea came to me. Once it hatched, I couldn't get it out of my mind until I got it down on paper. So…here it is…my Valentine's Day gift to the Sam/Jack Ship Family at Gateworld…and to all Sam/Jack devotees everywhere. _

**Chapter 1: Sam**

I wake up instinctively reaching for him…but he's not there. I'm momentarily confused. The dream I had was so vivid, I was sure he was here with me.

But he's not.

With a sigh, I get up to meet the day. The work is challenging, and there's plenty to keep me occupied, but my mind keeps straying to thoughts of him.

The way he makes me laugh.

The warmth of his embrace.

The passion that moves me more than I ever thought possible.

I wanted this command…but I was reluctant to accept it at the same time. This promotion represented the culmination of many years of hard work. And with the loss the people here had suffered, I thought I could make a difference. I think I have. But as I near the end of a year here, the days seem longer and the distance between us seems farther.

I'm used to being away from home. My work has always included travel. But during most of those years, he was with me…even though we weren't together then.

I remember so many moments that should have shown me where we were headed. But then, it seemed impossible that we could ever be in each others' lives as we are now.

He learned to trust me when we were stranded in Antarctica. We thought we had accidentally gated to some ice planet. He was badly injured, and I thought we were going to die there. So, I did my best to make him comfortable while waiting for the end. In his delirium, he called for his ex-wife, and to ease his misery, I answered, pretending to be her. He doesn't remember that, and I've never told him about it. I just remember thinking that a man so haunted by the love he had lost must love deeply.

I remember the three months I worked day and night to rescue him when he was trapped on Edora. I knew I could do it. I could find a way to bring my commanding officer home. But I didn't realize that I was beginning to think of him as more than my CO.

Janet knew. Even then, she recognized what my obsession with the task meant. I didn't know…until I saw him go back to embrace Laira. That's when I felt a pang of jealousy and realized I was falling in love with him.

I was still dealing with those feelings when he quit the program, saying he'd had enough and wanted to go back to Edora to live. None of us understood the change in him, and although we all thought we were losing him, I secretly felt I was losing more than Daniel and Teal'c were.

I felt both relieved and betrayed when we found out he was working undercover. General Hammond was the only one who knew. The rest of us were shocked that we hadn't been part of the plan. It took awhile for us to forgive him and to trust him again. But it was easier for me, because at least I knew he didn't really want to go back to her.

The za'tarc incident a few months later escalated the situation. To stay alive, we were forced to reveal what neither of us wanted to…that we cared for each other…much more than was appropriate…given our ranks and working relationships. After those confessions, he wanted to talk about it, but I didn't think we should. So I told him we needed to "keep it in the room." That damn "room"! I wonder now what would have happened if we had discussed it. Would we have found a way? A resignation? A retirement? A reassignment? If we had gone that route, would we even still be here? Would one of us have been killed had the team not stayed intact?

But what does it matter now? What is…is…and I'm giving myself a headache thinking it over again. Entering the commissary, I get some coffee and greet others who are also starting their day. I shouldn't be feeling sorry for myself. I'm not the only person here who left loved ones behind. But, looking around the room at the members of my staff, I'm fairly certain I'm the only one here who left someone they have loved for so long…and have had for such a short time.

For cryin' out loud! Shake out of it, Sam! If these people knew how weak their commander was feeling, they'd ask for a replacement! I resolve to be strong and soldier through it, because that's what I know how to do.

As I go through my day, the thoughts keep coming back. I remember when he and Harry Maybourne got stranded on that moon. No one could figure out how to activate the portal that had taken them away, and when the scientists packed up their bags to go home, I lost it. I let poor Bill Lee have it—and I blush as I remember that I didn't scare him one bit. I let my personal feelings get in the way that day. So, I did the only thing I could do…figure out a way to get him back myself. When I realized the portal lead to the planet's moon, he was rescued. I had him back again.

But I didn't…not really.

Through all those years, he was always there for me with a smile, a joke, a sarcastic comment to make me laugh. But the longer I wanted him, the harder it was to keep waiting and wanting…not knowing it we would live long enough to give a relationship a try.

Dad always said I was stubborn, and he was right. I was determined to have a chance at a normal life, and if it couldn't be with the Colonel, then I'd find someone else. So I went on a blind date with Pete, and for the next year, I tried to convince myself that I was in love with a wonderful man. And I was. It just wasn't the man I was dating.

Rodney comes into my office, prattling on about Katie Brown and how he's screwed everything up between them. I listen patiently for a respectful amount of time before asking him if he has any unfinished projects that need his attention. That stops him. I knew it would. Looking wounded, he retreats, muttering to himself. I feel a little bad about that, but my job is to be his commander, not Dear Abby to his anxieties. I have to maintain a degree of separation from these people in order to lead them. As much as I would like to loosen up and be his friend, I can't. It's not the way Hammond led, and it's not the way Jack led. And their ways are my models for command behavior.

If I could, I'd tell Rodney to march down to that botany lab, grab the girl by the shoulders and give her a huge kiss. It's what she's waiting for. But he has to find his own way and figure things out for himself.

Just like I had to do.

When Pete asked me to marry him, I was torn. I knew I still loved the Jack, but I was trying hard to love Pete. It took me more than two weeks to decide to accept the proposal. Even then, I didn't do it until after I had shown Jack the ring, and discussed my anguish with him.

I was hoping he would stop me. He didn't.

And at that point, I guess I gave up hope.

When I told Pete I would marry him, I didn't feel the joy of committing my life to my soulmate. I tried to tell myself I had found Mr. Right, but I think what I actually felt was the satisfaction of completing a project. I'm ashamed to admit that now, even to myself. But looking back, that's what it was. I had set a goal for myself, and I had achieved the goal. Project completed—gold star for Sam. If Jack didn't care enough to stop me from marrying someone else, what difference did it make? Might as well go on and have that normal life everyone kept saying was so great.

For the next several months, I tried to push thoughts of Jack away. Things were definitely strained between us. But the closer I got to the wedding, the more anxious and detached I felt. The morning Pete met my father probably sealed the deal. I could tell how disappointed he was in Pete. And Pete acted so geeky! Once he was granted clearance, I tried to explain the relationship between symbiote and host to him. He said he understood, but when he met Dad, he still acted like an idiot. He couldn't even see how coolly Dad was treating him. Later, when he asked, I told him Dad had liked him. I just didn't want to discuss it. I needed time to think.

If Dad's reaction to Pete sealed the deal, the house Pete purchased pushed me over the edge. It was a beautiful house, but it made everything seem so…final. Seeing that house…which he had bought without even letting me see it first…and hearing him talking about a dog without ever asking if I would like to have a dog…sent me running to Jack's house. In my heart, I already knew the relationship with Pete wasn't for the long term, but I wanted to give Jack another chance to tell me he still cared—that is, if he did.

When I arrived, I could tell Jack seemed a little ill at ease, but it wasn't until Agent Kerry Johnson stepped out onto his deck that I realized how badly I had screwed up. I was actually thankful when my cell phone rang! I needed to get out of that embarrassing situation, and quickly! I had made a huge fool out of myself, and I had to get out of there because I knew I was going to start tearing up any moment.

But I would have never wished for the news that was at the other end of the line.

Dad's sudden illness turned my world upside down. The news that I was about to lose him – that no technology at our disposal could save him – created the worst feelings I had experienced since my mother died.

Dad tried to talk with me about having everything I wanted. He encouraged me to do whatever it took to find real happiness. I didn't let on that he had struck a chord. I wasn't going to burden him with my uncertainty over Pete. I thought I had him fooled.

I realize now that I didn't. Dad knew who I really loved. He knew Pete was wrong for me. And he could tell how much Jack and I care for each other.

Why he didn't come right out and say it, I'll never know. If he had, perhaps I would have talked with him about it. I guess he was trying to give me the opportunity to tell him the truth about what was in my heart. I'll always regret that I didn't. But I wanted what was left of our time together to be peaceful, not full of Sam's trauma of the moment.

As I was waiting for Dad to complete his good-byes with the Tok'ra, Jack showed up. Although he had moved on to a new romance, he was still my friend. And as always, he offered the comfort I needed, just when I needed it most.

I thanked him for being there for me. Then…and I'll remember this as long as I live…he softly said, "Always." His tone alerted me that something was different. I turned to look into those big brown eyes, and a chill rushed through me. But before I could process it, I got the signal that Dad needed me.

I rushed to his bedside, and we said good-bye. And then, he was gone.

I wipe a tear from my eye before it falls on a form I have to sign. I look around, but no one is nearby to see my momentary weakness. I sign the document, lay it aside and sit back to watch the activity below me. As I do, my mind goes back to the days after Dad's death.

I didn't have to make arrangements. Jack did it.

I didn't have to think about what to eat. Jack made sure I ate.

I didn't have to call Dad's old military buddies to let them know he had passed away. Jack saw to it that those calls were made.

All I did was phone my brother to let him know what had happened. When he asked where to make reservations, I couldn't think of a single hotel in town! I asked Jack where they should stay, and he pushed a piece of paper across his desk toward me. He had already made their reservations.

Jack occupied my guest room for the next several days, while either Daniel or Teal'c slept on the couch. They said they didn't want me to be alone. Sure, I could have taken care of myself, but I found it comforting to have them there. After all, except for Dad, they are closer to me than anyone else I know.

Jack was at my side through the visitation at the funeral home, through the funeral and through the wake that followed. He didn't let anyone go on too long or say anything that would upset me. He kept my mind occupied at the wake with off-color comments about how the various guests reminded him of Goa'uld. I was mortified, thinking that I was going to burst into laughter at some inappropriate moment. But he seemed to know just when to stop. He kept me going through the entire ordeal.

A couple of weeks later, Jack suggested that all four of us spend a few days at his cabin in Minnesota. He said I needed a change of scenery, and we all needed a break. After all, we had beaten both the Goa'uld and the Replicators. We were stressed, we were tired, and we were all lucky to be alive. So we made plans. But on the morning we were supposed to leave, Daniel called to say Teal'c had sent a message from Dakara, saying it would be another two days before he could join us. To keep him from having to drive for hours alone, Daniel said he would stay behind, and they would travel together.

"Daniel, I can't go with the General alone."

"Sure you can, Sam."

"But he's my commanding officer. It wouldn't look right."

"Sam, no one is going to know except the four of us…and we won't tell. Go on; you need to do something different. This trip is all about you."

"Daniel…" I argued.

"Sam, listen to me," he said, with the tone of someone who wasn't telling all he knew. "You need to go with Jack. For once, don't argue. Just go."

So I went, despite my misgivings. And now I know that the boys had planned that "delay" in Dakara to give Jack some time alone with me. On our first night in Minnesota, Jack told me about his transfer. Then I told him about my offer to go to Area 51. At that point, we knew the regs were no longer an issue. So, we had the talk we should have had four years before, and we learned that we both wanted the same thing: each other.

Nature took its course after that, and within a few weeks, we were married. Of course, after that came the conflict with the Ori, and I had to return to the SGC. But since we had married in the interim, the regs were no longer a problem. We've chosen to keep our marriage quiet, though…mainly for political reasons. But I'm growing tired of living a secret.

It's been more than two years since then, and here I am, a galaxy away from the man I love. The feeling of separation overtakes me again, and I bite my lip to fight back the tears.

I love my work; I do. But I also love Jack O'Neill, and I need to find my way home to him. After all, life is short, and we've spent too much time apart already.


	2. Chapter 2 Jack

_I don't know how it happened, but Jack took much longer to tell the story than Sam did. Written for the Sam/Jack Ship Family Discussion Thread at Gateworld._

**Chapter 2: Jack**

As I drink my coffee and read the morning paper, I am assaulted by ads for chocolate, flowers and romantic dinners at area restaurants. Great. Just what I need. After all, the love of my life is a galaxy away.

I snatch my jacket from the back of a nearby chair and curse when a medal hangs on a chair rung. My driver is outside, waiting to take me to the Pentagon. This sure is a far cry from driving my pick-up to the SGC.

The young lieutenant is one of my aides, and he has learned that I'm usually in a bad mood in the morning. Since it's Valentine's Day, he was probably afraid to come for me! If so, his instincts were correct, because I'm in a worse mood than usual.

Can you blame me? The whole world is thinking romance, and Major General Jack O'Neill is probably the only person in Washington who won't be getting any tonight! Just sayin'.

I stare out the window at the other commuters as the sights and sounds of the nation's capital city pass by. My reflection confirms just how sour I look. But I know it's not anger. Nope, the face staring back at me reflects the feelings of a lonely man. Dammit, I miss her. Badly.

I think back to the first time I saw her. Hammond had just asked where Captain Carter was, and I remember thinking this Sam Carter had a pretty impressive resume. I was hoping the guy wasn't a total geek of a scientist when I looked up and got the surprise of my life! In walked a tall, gorgeous blonde with curves in all the right places and legs that went on forever! I thought there was a mistake, but this lovely creature confirmed that she was, in fact, Captain Sam Carter…Samantha Carter. Ah!

I chuckle and the lieutenant brings me back to reality. "Did you say something, General?"

"No," I snap, before pushing the button that closes the glass between the front and back seats of the car. Hey! I've earned the right to be grumpy! Besides, I can't have this young man knowing how miserable I actually am. He'd think I had gone all soft, and then, where would my reputation be? People at the Pentagon believe it's best not to upset me. And I've found that fear factor to be a huge asset when I'm trying to secure resources for the Stargate program. Besides, when Sam is on my mind, I'd rather be totally alone with my thoughts.

Back to the SGC, all those years ago. I quickly decided that this babe of a scientist/soldier couldn't possibly measure up to the job. I have always had the utmost respect for women, but this one looked too soft and sexy to send out into the field. Then the verbal sparring started, and that got her hackles up. The next thing I knew, she was offering to arm wrestle me…and I was fascinated.

Long story short, Hammond made it clear she was assigned to the team, and it didn't take long for me to find out what a damn fine soldier she was…is. When she was kidnapped during a mission and sold to a chieftain on a backwards excuse for a planet, she managed not to get raped. And when we finally caught up with her, she insisted on fighting the guy herself. I chuckle again. He never knew what hit him. All that machismo crumbled in a humiliated pile of flesh as Sam made him cry uncle. In that society, she was within her rights to kill him, but she chose not to do it. Instead, she let him live, and struck a blow for women's rights.

There's bravery in the face of a personal threat, and Sam had shown early on she had that. But it didn't take her long to prove how deeply her character went. That was when we found Cassie.

We gated onto a world to find only one remaining person alive—a little girl named Cassandra. We took her home with us, only to find that her body had been booby-trapped by Nirrti, and keeping her around meant blowing ourselves to kingdom come. So, as the time for the device inside her to detonate approached, we did the only thing we could. We had Sam take the kid to the bottom of a silo at an abandoned nuclear site. We thought the underground chamber would neutralize the effects of the blast. Sam's job was to take Cassie down there, tell her some comforting lie about how this was a test; then get back up to ground level, where it was safer.

But she didn't come back.

I was furious! I got on the intercom and ordered her to return. And damned if she didn't defy me! She had chosen to give up her life to protect a child she had known only a short time. It's was the noble thing to do, but Sam had the guts to actually do it.

Luckily, it all worked out well. Little did we know that the farther we got Cassie from the Stargate, the effects of the device would be neutralized. And once the danger period had passed, she was safe to rejoin us.

Sam later said she had a "feeling" it would be ok. Feeling, my ass! I had a feeling too—that I was going to lose the best 21C and most interesting woman I had met in a long, long time.

Where do I go from there? And why am I still in this car? "Lieutenant?" I say impatiently into the intercom.

"Sorry, Sir. Traffic crash ahead. Nothing I can do about it. We have to wait until the road clears."

I decide to cut him a little slack. After all, since I can't have Sam home, I can at least enjoy being alone with my thoughts of her. "Fine, Lieutenant. Not your fault."

"Thank you, Sir," he replies, apparently surprised he's not being chewed out.

I lean my head back and close my eyes. So many memories…

Like the first time I met her father. I grin to myself thinking of Jacob. We all miss him. Little did I know that my Captain was the daughter of a two-star General! That's another thing about Sam. She wants to earn her way. She doesn't want to advance because of her father's position—or her husband's. She wants to be recognized because of what she can do. You have to admire the woman.

As time went by, I slowly found myself growing attached to her. I was single. Had she not been under my command, I would have seduced her, and who knows what would have happened from there? But she had strong ethics, and I respected that. Heck, the more I was around her, the more I wanted to be someone _she_ could respect. And with her potential, I kept expecting her to get a promotion that would take her away from the team. I thought too much of her to do anything that would jeopardize her career.

So, I amused myself by teasing her, trying to make her smile. She has the most beautiful smile! And it's just as wonderful today, over 11 years later, as it was on the first day I met her. She lights up a room…and I'm not just saying that because I'm in love with her. She just does. As I muse on that, I'm reminded that she's not around to light up anything here…and I start feeling a bit forlorn again.

Forlorn…that's kinda how I felt when Dr. Samantha Carter came through the quantum mirror. That's when my growing feelings for Sam hit me square in the face.

It was disturbing enough to realize that in an alternate universe, the Goa'uld had overtaken Earth. But it was even more unsettling to learn that in the other reality, Sam was a civilian…and we had been married about six months when the attack occurred. However, in her reality, I was dead.

Whoa! So…what did that mean about all those inappropriate feelings I had been having for my 21C? It meant that somewhere where the US Military Code wasn't an issue, those feelings had been strong enough to develop into a serious, committed relationship. At the time, just thinking about it made my head hurt. Now, looking back, I accept it as one of the first clues of what would ultimately happen between "my" Sam and me.

I have to admit I was curious, and the woman needed my comfort. She was as shocked as we were, and I was the spit and image of her dead husband. Her deeply mourned dead husband. Just before she left, I kissed her. She wanted the good-bye she hadn't gotten to have with him. I hope it gave her some closure. But for me, that sweet kiss just made me more curious about what it would feel like to hold my 21C in my arms.

After that, Sam and I went on pretending nothing had happened. But I knew…and I know she did too…that something had changed. And I knew just how deeply it ran when we were wearing those armbands the Tok'ra brought. The powers the armbands gave us were amazing, but of course, the effects wore off at the worst possible time! There we were…C4 in place, trying to escape Apophis' ship before it blew up, and Carter and I get stuck on opposite sides of a force field. She told me to go…to save myself…and I couldn't leave. Standing there, helpless to save her as Jaffa approached from her side of the field, it hit me. I realized I loved her. Damn! I was so screwed! I didn't have much time to think about it, though.

Luckily, the first explosion took out the shield's power source, and we were able to escape…which meant we could ignore our feelings a little longer.

But we were finally forced to admit how we felt when we found out that a za'tarc had infiltrated the SGC. See, the Goa'uld had technology that would brainwash someone and program them to do something they wouldn't normally do. And we flunked the test. They thought we were za'tarcs. But Sam figured it out…in the nick of time. We weren't za'tarcs. We just weren't being entirely truthful about our experiences on Apophis' ship, and the za'tarc testing machine picked up on it. We left out the part we didn't want to admit—how we felt about each other. So we took the test again, confessed and passed.

After that, I wanted to talk about our confessions, but Sam wanted to "leave it in the room." I've often wondered how things might be different if we'd had that talk. Who knows? But all's well that ends well, and since we finally got together, there's no use cryin' over spilled milk.

Those feelings caused problems for us from then on, though. Hammond probably should have reassigned one of us, but he didn't want to break up such a successful unit, and I think he trusted us – or Sam, at least – to keep those feelings in check. But it was hard – damn hard at times.

Like later that same year, when the electronic entity took possession of Sam's body -- that sounds so wrong! Anyway, I actually had to deliver two zat blasts to Sam. They should have killed her, but they didn't. Doc put her on life support and I couldn't bring myself to leave her bedside. I just kept sitting there, thinking about how I could have handled the situation differently, what a waste it was for her to be a vegetable, blaming myself for what happened. But things worked out that time too. We were damn lucky that day.

That incident had a serious effect on me. It told me I had to distance myself from her. If I didn't, I would lose all perspective. It worked…for awhile. I think she was trying to do the same thing I was. But after Daniel ascended and Jonas joined the team, the flirting started again. Then we went to the planet where Nirrti was conducting experiments on all those people, and she put Sam in her DNA machine. We came close to losing her that day too. I remember watching Evanov, the Russian, turn into a puddle of liquid after he was put in the machine. When the guards came for Sam, I asked them to take me instead. And I remember rushing her to Nirrti's lab once one of her mutants read her mind and decided to help us. I came so close to losing Sam that day. And it still gives me chills to think about it.

More than ever, I was convinced that I didn't just care about her more than I should. I was deeply in love with this woman. And the way she acted around me made me think she felt the same. I committed myself to working harder, doing whatever I could to get rid of the threats against us. Then, Sam and I could have that talk. Then, we could take it out of the room.

But the next couple of years just went from bad to worse. Oh, they started off well enough. The Ancients "descended" Daniel, so he came back to us. But then…geez! First, I got cloned. Then, we ran into Anubis' super soldiers. Then, Sam got stuck alone on the Prometheus. She and the whole crew disappeared, and we figured them all for dead. Teal'c saw right through my bad mood to the emotions below. He knew I was worried about Sam…and decided to tell me she had been just as worried about me when Maybourne and I got stuck on that moon.

Then, just when I thought things couldn't get any worse, they did, and Pete came into the picture. I understood. I'm a lot older than Sam. I have a past…baggage. I felt she deserved someone younger, someone not worn out and battle weary, someone not hardened by their past mistakes. She deserved someone she could build a life with, and as much as I cared, I didn't think that person was me.

So I dealt with it. But it wasn't easy…especially when a super soldier almost killed her…and then, when Doc got killed. Why Janet? Why? I still wonder about that. I got a pretty bad hit in the battle where Janet died. And when Sam came to see me in the infirmary, it was all I could do not to grab her, tell her how much I loved her and make her come to terms with what we had left in that room. But Pete was in the picture by then, so I held back. I could tell Carter needed my comfort, though. She was mourning Janet and at some level, she was glad I hadn't been killed too. So I held her while she cried, and I took whatever comfort I could from those moments I got to be close to her.

That's probably the point where fate took over. Nothing after that seemed to be in our control. I had to stick my head in that alien encyclopedia thing again and almost lost my fron. They tell me they left me frozen like a popsicle in a stasis chamber in Antarctica. By the time they reached Thor and he thawed me out, the replicator, Fifth, had Sam. We got her back and we all made it home ok. But things kept going from bad to worse. Anubis was hell-bent on taking over the galaxy and at the same time, the replicators were getting stronger. We were trying to outwit our two strongest enemies at the same time. We were losing ground, and I couldn't see any way out. Things couldn't get any worse.

And then Pete proposed.

When Sam showed me the ring box, I knew immediately what she wanted. She wanted me to get mad, tell her how much I cared. She wanted me to claim her and ask her not to marry this guy.

I just couldn't do it.

Sam deserves so much. She's an astounding person. I want her to have everything, and with things the way they were on the work front, I knew I couldn't give her that any time soon. It hurt like hell, but if she cared for this guy, I wasn't going to ask her to wait for me. So I bailed. I said something that made no sense and got away from her as quickly as I could. I had to put some distance between us before she realized that my tough attitude was just a facade, and that I loved her.

I was stressed. I was hurting. I resented my promotion for taking me out of the field, away from my team…away from Sam. I hit a low point. I guess that's why I let Kerry into my life.

I'm not proud of it now, but that young woman was like medicine to me. I felt Earth was doomed. If the replicators didn't get us, Anubis would. And as the days went by, the reality that I was losing Sam worked its way through me like a progressive, degenerative disease. Kerry dulled the pain. I still feel guilty about that relationship. I never should have slept with her. But she made me feel good when everything else was bad, and I gave in to that.

But back to fate. Ba'al told us about the ancient weapon on Dakara, but it was Sam and Jacob/Selmak who figured it out. Ok, Ba'al "helped." But he backed out before the job was done. It was close, and the replicators were about to overtake us when suddenly, they just fell apart, leaving replicator parts scattered across the universe. Just like that, in an instant. No one could ever figure it would happen that way, least of all me. But it did.

So we just had Anubis to worry about. He had taken care of most of the other system lords for us.

At the same time, Sam's wedding was approaching. Luckily, I had enough on my shoulders then to explain my bad mood even if she hadn't been getting married. But at night, when all the distractions were gone, I would lie in my bed and wonder how I was going to get through the loss. Daniel was missing and presumed dead, although I wouldn't give in to that notion. I was about to lose Teal'c to the new Free Jaffa nation. But Sam was going to marry someone else, taking away the hope on which I'd staked my future for so long.

Jacob tried to talk with me about it. It was before he got sick. We were sitting in my office when he brought it up. "Jack, do you think Sam is happy with Pete?"

"I guess so. She agreed to marry him."

"What do you think of him?"

"Haven't met him. Don't know." I was doing paperwork while we talked, trying to avoid the subject. Suddenly, I realized he hadn't said anything else, and I looked up to find him gazing intently at me. "What?"

Jacob's voice took on a different tone. He leaned forward, not taking his eyes off me, and when he spoke, it seemed to be with deliberate intent. "Jack, I think Sam would be happier with…someone else."

I didn't know what to say, so I returned his stare.

"Jack…I thought Sam mattered to you."

"Of course, she does! For cryin' out loud, Jacob! What do you want me to say?"

"It's not what _I _want, Jack. It's what _you_ want. It's what _Sam_ wants that I'm talking about."

"Sam wants Shanahan, Jake. Or haven't you been paying attention?"

"I think Sam has settled for someone because she thinks the man she really wants is out of reach."

"Well, it doesn't matter what you or I think, does it? Because Sam has made her decision."

"I know I'm making you uncomfortable, Jack…and I wouldn't even bring this up…but…"

"I'm the commander of this base, and your daughter is an officer under my command. Things are just as they've always been."

"Maybe things need to change."

"Well, get rid of Anubis and we'll talk. Hell, get rid of Anubis and we'll go fishing!"

"Jack, Sam shouldn't marry this guy. I can just feel it. And I won't always be here…"

"Jacob, I have a meeting," I said, before picking up my notepad and going out the door. I didn't have a meeting. I went to the elevator, and I rode it all the way to the bottom of the complex. I got off, found a chair outside a storage area and just sat there in the silence.

I waited for Jacob to leave my office…

I waited for my heart to slow down…

I waited for some solution to become clear to me.

I had nothin'.

Now, I realize why Jacob said what he did. He knew he was dying, and he was trying to put things right while he still had a chance. But I didn't know that then, and as usual, I couldn't see the forest for the trees.

Sam came by my house a couple of days later, and she couldn't have picked a worse time. I was grilling, Sam was talking about not going through with the wedding, and I knew that any second, Kerry was going to come out of my back door.

And that's just what happened. A really awkward situation was building until Sam's cell phone rang. "It's the SGC," she said. "Colonel Carter. What? When? ... OK, I'm on my way." She looked up. "I-I gotta go. Uh, it's my dad."

Then she took off, but I couldn't get her out of my mind. Ok, that's pretty standard, but anyway, Kerry and I ate quickly. Then I made an excuse about a stack of papers on my desk and headed back to work.

When I got back to the SGC, I found out Jacob was going to die. Damn! What else could happen? Then Kerry came by my office and dumped me. I didn't care. I deserved it. But she made it clear she saw right through Sam and me, and she encouraged me to do something about it. That was class. But I didn't see any way to act on her advice…not then.

It's funny how quickly things can change. I called down to the infirmary to see if anyone was with Sam. The nurse said she had offered to call Colonel Carter's fiancé, but Carter refused. Why didn't that surprise me?

I found her sitting in the observation booth, watching her father as some of his Tok'ra friends said their good-byes to him. She turned a blank stare toward me, and I sat down.

I asked how she was, and she talked for a few moments about her father and their relationship, and how blessed she felt to have been able to share so much with him over the past few years. I pulled her closer and put my arm around her then, and she thanked me.

"For what?" I asked.

"For being here for me," she said through the sniffles.

I couldn't move. I could barely think. Where else would I be? For the past eight years, I had been at her side through thick, thin, danger and triumph. And that's when I realized that if I lost her, I would lose the one thing that was more precious to me than anything else. I couldn't let it happen! I was a little hoarse when I spoke. "Always," I said.

She turned to look at me, and in that moment, something changed. We hadn't talked about it, but somehow, I knew an impasse had been broken. But before I could say anything else, she was signaled to come down to where her father lay. He was the most important thing at the time. Our discussion would come much later.

I didn't know what I was going to do to change things, but first, I just wanted to help Sam get through her father's death. I made the funeral arrangements. I made hotel reservations for her brother and his family. I arranged the wake. I called the Generals Jake had worked with, and had Walter call his other military friends and colleagues. Maybe it wasn't my place, but I needed to do it for her, and no one was going to stop me.

I wasn't certain why Pete wasn't around, but I had a strong suspicion. Still, I said nothing about it in the days that passed. I didn't want to put any additional stress on her. And after our brief exchange in the observation room, I think we both understood that things between us were going to change I'm not an intuitive man, but let's just say I wasn't surprised at Pete's absence as we laid Jacob to rest.

By the time the funeral had passed, Daniel and Oma had taken care of Anubis, our two greatest enemies were pretty well beaten, Danny was back from the dead—again—and life at the SGC was pretty much back to normal.

I wanted to wait a respectful time after Jacob's death before talking to Sam about our relationship. I might have waited longer, but George called and I was reassigned. I only had a few more weeks in Colorado, and it was time to see if Sam wanted a future together as much as I did.

So, I invited my team to take a fishing trip to my cabin in Minnesota. Sam needed a change of scenery and we all needed some rest. And before we left, I arranged with the boys to wait a couple of days before joining us, so I would have some time alone with Sam. We told a little white lie about Teal'c being detained on Dakara. And once Sam and I were alone at my cabin, we had "_the_ talk."

The one that cleared the air.

The one we should have had years before.

The one that made me the happiest, luckiest man on the face of the Earth.

We married a few weeks later, just before I left for Washington. What was the sense in waiting? We had known each other for eight years. We had seen each other at our best and worst.

We knew what we wanted.

So I went off to D. C., and away she went to Area 51, where she was going to head up Research and Development. And it's a good thing we married when we did, because soon after, the Ori emerged as our new threat, Sam had to go back to the SGC and the regs would have been an issue again.

Now, the Ori are toast, I'm still in Washington and Sam is in Atlantis. Weir's loss still bothers me, and I know she is deeply missed by the people who served with her. On a personal basis, I didn't want Sam to go to Atlantis. But from a professional vantage point, she was the best person for the job. Still, I'm hoping the appointment will be a short one, and we can find a leader for the expedition who didn't leave a doting, horny husband behind.

"We're finally moving again, Sir," the Lieutenant says through the intercom. I think about telling him I know we're moving, but decide to say nothing. I'm trying to figure out how long it has been since I held Sam and made love to her. I guess it was Christmas, and since March is almost here, it definitely qualifies as too damn long.

We pull up in front of the Pentagon. I open the door, almost knocking down the surprised Lieutenant who was about to open it for me. When I get to my office, I have a job for my assistant.

"Louise, who's in orbit?"

She checks. "The Apollo, Sir."

"Good. Get a message through to Colonel Ellis. He needs to beam me up from my office in 30 minutes."

"Yes, Sir," she replies, as she picks up the phone to call the SGC. "Destination, Sir?"

"The SGC. I have to go to Atlantis. Surprise inspection."

"Yes, Sir," she grins knowingly. Louise Montgomery is like the sister I never had. She knows Sam is away, so she makes sure I take care of myself. And she can read me like a book.

I turn and make my way from the reception area into my office before I give in to the urge to smile. Urges…ah, yes. I'll be giving into those later today.

It's been a long, bumpy ride since I first went through the Stargate some 13 or so years ago. But it got 1000 better the day Sam and I got married. Now, if I can just figure out a way for us to both live on the same planet at the same time, things will be perfect.

I have to think about that. But first, I'm going to pay a Valentine's Day visit to my wife.


End file.
